Last night I was arrested.
I'd relate the reasons why, but they aren't nearly as awesome as you'd hope (and the reasons behind the reasons make me seem depressingly mortal -- the antithesis of this "immortal" image I'm trying to cultivate).
Anyway, what was my point?
Oh! Right! Jail, while far from awesome is not that fun. But still, if I were writing a review of the whole experience, I'd recommend it as the sort of thing that people ought to do at least once in life, if only to experience what it's like.
Also, don't mouth off to the guys in the uniforms with all the implements of pain when you're still handcuffed. Even if they only push you down, trying to break a fall without using your arms is a great way to break, like, everything.
(Clarification: No, I didn't learn that last one the hard way. Watching drunk idiots being faceplanted into concrete floors was enough to teach me that gem.)
at your service
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Maybe I'm stretching my blog material, but since I *know* that its tricky to redirect all y'all to the TypePad version of .tiff (where I'm currently blogging at a much higher frequency than here), I'm forced to do the occasional pseudo-cross-post as a reminder that it still exists, and is alive and kicking. Plus, everyone loves comments on their stuff, and because I'm a web-egomaniac (<- See! That post is on my TypePad blog too!), I love them a lot. So when you drop by for a visit, comment on a post, and I promise that any forthcoming kittens that might magically appear because of my happy ego will be named after you. A kitten promise is forever.
Back to the topic at hand. As I detailed in my TypePad post, friend and game journalist Robin Yang gave me an invite to the vlogging world's twitter, 12.seconds, last week. While the majority of members have been giving 12 second updates on what's going on in their day, I've approached the site trying to figure out what random stuff I can show in a limited time frame. Since my first video, The Indiana Jones Special Edition Spoon Light Show Extravaganza, I've lightly experimented with other scenarios, such as the following instance where I make you feel awkward about watching me drink coffee:
yay so cute. Mk sewed a new baby carrier
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Pick up a videogame. Any videogame. Flip it over and take a look at the back cover. See those quotations from people like IGN or Gamespot or those dudes who happen to sign my checks?
I fucking hate that.
I'm currently writing a review of an arcade racing game called Pure, and the game is fucking solid as hell. It's basically SSX on ATVs with a level of customization that the earlier snowboarding series never had. In short, it's a damn good way to spend your $60 (even if you aren't the sort to get erect over driving snub-nosed phallic machines through mud in a sport that's equal parts meta taboo-fulfillment and the redneck equivalent of peer pressure-induced B&E at the local country club).
Anyway, the game is exactly the sort of thing where I could toss out PR-friendly quips like "intense, white-knuckle thrillride" or "game of the year," but that's just not me. I once thought it would be amazing to have my quotations on the back of a game's box, but now I realize that those quotations are squarely aimed at the idiotic masses with attention spans far too small to follow me through a full review. Even if I manage to tart the thing up by tossing around a lot of "cunt" and "cock" talk -- which I intend to do.
Maybe I'm way off. Maybe the average gamer wants everything in tiny sound bites and can't find their way through a dense analogy about a metaphorical tree that may or may not represent their latent homsexuality (but also keenly expresses the joys of jumping off huge cliffs strapped to an ATV).
Maybe the average gamer got a headache reading that last sentence.
Either way, I'm too stubborn and pretentious to change now. Yet another hint that maybe I ought to get out of this "games journalism" thing?
Did you watch that video? That's a lot of butter. So much butter that I decided to blog about it, but this wasn't the post I was originally thinking of:
Just a quick FYI here, the top of the stomach is called the fundus. (say it with me now, FUN-DUS!)
lol
In only ten minutes of intervention (A&E), I started hyperventilating and tearing up. I had to leave the room.
I bought http://emogency.com lol.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it, but hopefully something awesomm nom nomm
ideas?
I knit.
I sew.
I drink beer, wine, water, red bull, amp, vodka, rum
I HTML.
I use XUbuntu
I listen to emo, rock, alternative, indie
I don't eat meat.
I clean.
I work at pier 1 imports.
I go to school at CSN.
I am homosexual.
I like both mac's and PC's.
I enjoy taking pictures.
I want to learn to play guitar, keyboard.
I enjoy fish tanks.
I enjoy hamsters.
I organize.
I don't believe in god, God, a god, higher being, religion.
I flickr, myspace, vox, livejournal, gmail.
I have a tattoo.
I can make sushi.
I take a lot of prescriptions.
I was born in Hawaii.
I live in Las Vegas.
I instant message on jabber, aim, msn, skype
I am pleased by cute things.
I like to ride skateboards.
I have broken a bone in my life.
I make lamps.
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